KEY ASPECTS OF THE LIFE OF
DEMARIS (DEE) BONIFACIA THELEMAQUE (nee LOPEZ)
by Louis Emanuel Thelemaque (Her Husband of 65 years)
Unknown to Each Other in Bronx, NY, following her move to Myrtle & Eric's
The move to and 1952 meeting in St Albans, a name given to a small community in a district titled Jamaica, in the borough of Queens in the City of New York.
Dating, marriage proposal (2 months), Eric/Myrtle resistance and plans for Dee who was an exellent student, PopLopez blessing, Bridal paraphernalia, Local Church, Within 3 mos total her early dream was fulfilled i.e. - Classical Wedding Ceremony & Post Wedding Party including both our parents.
Within the next 7 eventful years all 6 children were born including 2 pairs of fraternal twins and at least 4 destabilizing events that I can recall. My mom's takeover attempt & our 1st move, Dee's near death giving birth, move to Bklyn & Tony's close death and my midnight PO work.
During the fantastic period in NYC, from St. Albans to Brooklyn, the girl/woman I wed Managed almost all the duties, schooling and emergencies inherent in raising children, compounded by having many children and negligible outside or family help.
Two phases of our Bklyn life exposed the latent qualities of Dee's persona. While living in and managing an apartment house Dee won the affection and concern of neighbors and local store owners & vendors, some of whom acted as godparents and willing helpers. We even had an Italian & and an Irish godparent.
Upon moving to a beautiful brand new adjacent project apartment with bedrooms for all, Dee gave birth to our last 2 children. The youngest grew up & the oldest matured in the Bklyn Project. Dee began learning new skills that would later allow work as a legal assistant.
Dee then took the opportunity to find office employment at street level within a block of our residence where the children could see her on their way home from school. & provide needed income. The owner/father was impatient with Dee's inexperience but the owner/son's admiration of the intelligence and resourcefulness of the mother of 6 won Dee the job.
Our apartment was popular to neighbors' children of all ethnicities and colors because of Dee's openly welcoming characteristic and sincere interest and concern. Some remain in contact to this day via Facebook et al.
In Bklyn, our children addended catholic school where some lay teachers believed they had the right to administer corporal punishment and in one severe case forcefully slapped Denise in the face leaving an after effect. Dee quickly made sure the school and all administrators or teachers knew that only we have authority to administer any physical punishment to our children.
While living in Brooklyn, my attempts to improve our finances through upward promotion was blocked by internal politics so the only way was through higher level skills obtained only thru school. Regardless of her load Dee & I jointly decided that I would attempt nite college.
The next seven years saw a spectacular improvement in our lives, a) Family outings exposed our children to the arts, plays & concerts b) I matriculated to a full college degree course, c) Eric got me a technical position with his company, Consumer Reports, d) ~2 years later, I won a technical position with Bell Telephone Labs, e) I graduated from City College, Masters Degrees from Columbia & Pace Universities, f) we went hunting for a house in NJ, where I worked, or an upscale apt in B'klyn. g) lastly Bell offered a position in Colorado with support to buy our new first home and we jointly accepted.
In Colorado, a different social strata presented itself, made up of almost all college educated people, my coworkers. There were gatherings and parties among my coworker families as well as corporate parties. Dee was never intimidated. Although she was an avid reader and follower of current events, her most endearing qualities were her smiling, gracious respect for what others have to say and her sense of humor. It helped that her eyes gleamed in conversation and that she was a beautiful woman. She definitely contributed to the success of my assigment.
Our home was near a cowboy town with rodeos and set amongst grazing horses and cattle. Neighborhood children loved to come to our home because of game facilities in the basement and as in Brooklyn because Dee was the away from home fun mom. Some maintained contact to this day just as some Brooklyn friends did.
Just as in Brooklyn, Dee displayed her “don't mess with my children attribute” by attending a court case brought against Tony for driving a motor bike on the lightly used street fronting our home by a jealous neighbor whose son frequented our fun room. After berating the court and the judge learning she was the mother of this dark child, the case was dropped
Young adult children in our Colorado local need their own transportation (we had 3 cars) the cost of which was satisfied by Dee's new employment as a Social Services Worker.
Events in Colorado led to my consideration of a new assignment to an overseas division of AT&T in Iran (before the Ayatollah). The 1976 assignment would include all family members. Since Pepe, Denise & Nanette were on their own and Tony was due to enter college and live on campus, Dee agreed if Jacques & Andre agreed. Jacques considered living with neighbors but acquiesced.
Before settling in Iran we organized a trip to the American Virgin Is that included our entire brood to meet some members of my family that we had never met, mutually enjoying island life. With Dee's warmhearted example, relationships were established that exist to this day.
The overseas assignment to Iran, included a paid apartment, transportation, numerous paid vacation leaves and an employment position for marriage partners. The latter provided for Dee's most celebrated and monumental achievement.
In short order, Dee was offered the position of corporate receptionist. Consequently, everyone knew her and vice versa. Among Iranian staff members, she was known as ‘Deejoon”, with “joon” being a Persian term of endearment. Because of her wonderful notoriety, our 25th wedding anniversary was held at the US Embassy (that embassy) attended by friends and corporate members of all levels including our overseas president & vice-presidents. Need I mention how she affected my career?
In Iran another aspect of her view of life was exposed, her willingness to try new things like skiing and tennis. We attended concerts, performed in plays and visited the rest of Iran. On one such trip we were invited to share a meal with a local villager entirely due to Dee's equanimity & affability. We also visited Africa (Safari's), Israel and various countries of Europe.
Upon the disposition of the Shah of Iran, we left Iran on a military airplane and chose to go home on our own at the first landing which was in Thailand wherein we tried hang gliding as pulled by a motor boat and ocean motor scootering.
Due to a train mixup the way to Singapore from Thailand we were forced to stay at a bordello, where Dee got a kick out of being mistaken for my Lady Of the Night.
After Singapore came Bali, Australia, New Zealand and Tahiti. We avoided typical tourist hotels and instead opted for meeting the real people and the local flavor of each country. Consequently, Dee's natural equanimity and charm allowed us to be accepted rather than viewed as “those” Americans.
In New Zealand while boarding with a small farmer's family, Dee so enthralled the family that one member elected to take time off from farm work to chaperone us while viewing the attractions of her country.
We stopped in Tahiti because a maternal uncle of mine had settled there after serving in the British Navy in WW1 and created two separate Tahitian families that had, for some reason, lived entirely apart. As a consequence of our visit - and Dee's charm, inquisitiveness and social skills - by the time we left to return home, the families had all gathered together to put flower leis around our necks and send us off at the airport.
We returned home to New Jersey where we bought and lived successively in 2 homes - one in Morris Township and the other in Sea Bright between a bay and a pacific ocean beach. We played tennis, reconnected with children, family and friends , travelled, went white water rafting, bobsledding. Dee worked as a legal secretary, commuting to the financial district in NYC from Morris Township and holding positions as office manager in NJ towns closer to our home at Sea Bright.
During our stay in Sea Bright, we took sailing lessons which further exposed Dee's adventurous spirit and willingness, to try ALL life has to offer, as we proceeded to rent sailing boats large enough for overnight sleeping and to sail in Chesapeake Bay, the New Jersey Shore as far as the Great Lakes in New England sometimes with one or more of our Progeny.
More than 30 years ago, upon my retirement, we sold our Sea Bright home and moved across the country again to San Francisco. It became the home where both Dee and I would live the longest in our entire lives. Initially, we both helped at Dolphin Graphics, the family business we helped start.
In San Francisco, we still travelled, danced, bicycled and enjoyed life. Even as we got significantly older, Dee was able to bicycle some of the longer routes in Northern California. We travelled up to Oregon by car and by plane to our East Coast family and to Canada, Portugal, Spain, Mexico, Maui and Costa Rica.
We were able to stay in shape because Dee learned of a new workout center being planned at UCSF in SF. Dee quickly found her niche in water aerobics and subsequently - again - became one of the most popular members. Photos of Dee were used to promote membership in the facility.
Dee also occupied her free time crafting beautiful greeting cards, mainly 3 dimensional, that were sent to friends and family. Sometimes she sold them and they were often displayed by recipients of them as works of art. Her skill in this endeavor was enhanced by our attendance at UCSF free senior classes in Photoshop Elements. Again, she was one of the most popular and accomplished students in the class.
Other skills that Dee had her entire life and were immense joys to her: That lady could cook. I almost never suggested eating out, but it had much more to do with her amazing culinary skills. And she had passed that skill on to all of our children with our son Andre going to culinary school and working as a professional chef before taking over the printing business.
And…..That lady could dance!! I'll mention just a few related events: *B'klyn Couple *Alone on the Dance Floor *Golden Gate Park *Renee Event along the shore, jazzy Janice Joplin type music - “I like your moves”. *Annual Berkeley Event – Jazz Band – Fingers Clicking – subtle body movement – fingers clicking – I fell in love for the umpteenth time.